Kellies World

Movie Tuesday #1 - Kick Ass

2011-10-11T20:36:00.002+01:00

I read a few blogs, some of them have Musical Mondays, some Tuneful Tuesdays etc.... Well I have decided I am going to do a Movie Tuesday and maybe if I miss Tuesday I will do a Film Friday, not quite the same ring I know but go with me!!

You see I have this ~~Mental~~ memory issue and it drives Dan nuts.

He has watched many many films and remembers them all. Not just the plot either, oh no, he remembers the title, who starred in it, when it was released and any trivia related to it. I have also watched many films. I however, have real trouble remembering them, and yes I am talking everything about them. The title, who starred in it and you would have more chance of hell freezing over than me being able to tell you when it was released. Sometimes, if your lucky, I may remember snatches of the plot.

For example, the weekend just gone we had no children..... We were child free from Saturday morning right through to Sunday afternoon. This does not happen very often. So we headed off to town, got some munchies from Asda and decided to chill out for the evening. We caught up with some series episodes and watched a couple of films. Now remember everybody, this is Saturday evening. 9.00am Monday morning, no more than 33 hours later, I stroll into work. I am now having a conversation with Kerry and Chris about our weekends. I tell them we watched a couple of films Saturday night, they ask which ones. Do you think I could remember a single thing about either of them, can I hell. Not a thing. So I quickly change the subject and ask who wants Coffee.... I walked away to the sound of sniggering and comments about how much of an impact the films must have had on me... *Sighs*

Apparently we watched Crazy on the Outside and Tucker and Dale Versus Evil.

So, I have decided that maybe if I blog about them I may remember them better. Writing things down is supposed to help isn't it? I must impress on you though, this is not a review of the film, nor is it an advert. Its an experiment for a ~~mentally~~ ~~impaired~~ ~~special~~ memory challenged me!!! I am going to Blog about the film after I have watched it and set it to post on the following Tuesday. Which should be fun for me when I read about a film I have no idea by the Tuesday I have watched!! It will of course contain spoilers of the films I have watched, though if your lucky enough to have a memory like mine it won't matter, but I will try to keep the description as basic as possible so as not to spoil it for you memory gifted ~~freaks~~ peeps.

The next paragraph is a little contradictory!!!

Every now and again however, I do manage to retain the details of a film I watch. I remember Silence of the Lambs for instance, but this is because along with Red Dragon, it is my favourite film of all time. Thomas Harris is a wonderful writer and whilst as is usual the books are better than the film the films are still amazing. Another for instance is a film I watched recently called Kick Ass. Holy smokes this was a fantastic film and this is the film I have chosen as my first of (hopefully) many Movie Tuesdays.

WARNING: The rest of this post contains spoilers!

When Kick Ass was released it was slated. The main reason being that it had an eleven year old girl in one of the lead roles. Why should this cause so many problems I hear you ask. Well, she uses the word C**T. But if you can get your heads around that and are grown up enough to realize this is a film, it is scripted and she, I am sure, does not run around randomly using the word of her own accord, then I am sure you will love it just as much as I did.

It is really based around a young lad, Dave Lizewski, who ponders with the idea of there being true Superheros or why no-one has ever put on a costume and become one. So he does, with no powers and no training, and gets the living shit beaten out of him, stabbed and then hit by a car. But he carries on in his mission to make his town a better/safer place to be. Unbeknown to him he is being watched. By a father and daughter 'Superhero' team, Damon and Mindy Macready . Damon Macready is played by Nicholas Cage, and he is fantastic in it. There is no mother, as she was killed by the 'Bad Guy' and Damon makes it his mission to avenge her death. He trains his daughter Mindy to become a 'superhero' too and together they make their plans for revenge. After seeing Dave Lizewski in action, Mindy takes pity on him and decides to take him on as her project much to the dismay of Damon. I don't want to give too much away and hope I haven't already, but it goes on in the way you would expect of a Superhero film. Goodies against baddies. However, that in no way detracts from the excellence of this film.

The way in which the film was made earns it more brownie points from me. Don't get me wrong, I have not the first idea about directing a film, but this had you on the edge of your seat one minute, laughing the next and in the next breath sobbing. The scene in the warehouse sticks in my mind the most. The thought that has gone in to this scene is incredible, night vision, strobes and the haunting music help to create the atmosphere. It is one of the most chilling, heart wrenching and distressing scenes I have seen, and yes I did sob. If I am honest, whenever I hear this bit of music now it takes me right back and I feel the sting at the back of my eyes. This to me is what a real movie is all about. This scene takes you in, chews you up and spits you out in little pieces.

Please excuse the quality of this video. It was the best I could find and I just had to share it with you. I defy you to say it did not touch you in some way.

The soundtrack to this film was also fantastic. In fact we also now have this in our possession as well as the score. Each track fits perfectly with the scene and even weeks after watching the film, I can still picture the scenes that go with every track.

I can honestly say that this was, and please excuse the language, but it was a F***ing amazing film. If I can remember it now then it must have been right? If you ever get the opportunity to watch it then do. You really don't know what your missing.

This video gives you a little sneak preview into what its like.

If you do happen to watch it, stop back and let me know what you think.

Enjoy!!

I'm Not Dead just Lazy!!

2011-09-25T16:09:00.000+01:00

No I am in fact not dead. I am also not going to make another empty promise of updating my blog more regularly. I am however going to try.
It is truly amazing how quickly time goes by without you realizing it and much has happened since I last blogged. I shall not bore you with all the little details, but these changes include a change of employment. You will remember way back in the distant past I blogged about Gimme Gizmo and my shop closing. Shortly after that I was asked by my best friend Kerry to cover her maternity leave. She works at her Dads Asbestos Air Monitoring company, LAB UK LTD, and I happily agreed to cover. It was supposed to be a temporary thing, while she was on Maternity. 9 - 5, Monday to Friday. She loved her job, had waited patiently for the position to come up and had complete faith in me to be able to do it (No I am not sure why either?). I on the other hand was not so sure. Though I was told it was quite straight forward, you just have to be very organised. I have heard myself described in many ways...... organised has NEVER been one of them. Much to the credit of the training I received from her, and help from others, I think I managed to keep things ticking over in her absence. Or I covered my tracks very well!!!!! To cut a long story short, her Dad Les made some changes to the way the reports work, meaning that they are no longer typed, and Kerry's job went from full to part time. I will at some point go into this in more detail, but for now I shall keep it simple. Long to short, I ~~stole~~, ~~acquired~~, was offered Kerry's job on a permanent basis, 3 days a week. Kerry is now taking the position of Lab Manager analysing sample to see if they contain asbestos. Though I have written the details in the simplest form here, I must hasten to add that it was NOT this simple a process. After all, I was in effect stealing my Best Friends job, that she LOVED and had worked bloody hard for. My initial reaction was not to take it, I knew how much the job meant to her, and how much she meant to me, far far more than a job. Another job I would eventually find, but another friend like her.... No chance!!!! But after long consideration and a good ~~pub lunch~~, heart to heart, things are going well. We figured as long as we are honest with each other at all times this should work. I can see why she loved the job so much. It can be challenging and stressful, but it is also very rewarding and interesting. On the plus side too..... she hasn't killed me.....YET!!
In other news, Dan and I have gotten Engaged, moved in together and booked the Wedding. We have been engaged for a year now, and yes, I proposed to him. After all, I could have been waiting a VERY long time otherwise.... or so I thought. Turns out he was thinking exactly the same thing as me only had not quite figured out how to ask yet!! Our wedding has been booked for 14 June 2013 at Wat Tyler Country Park. It is a place that is special to us both. As you know, we grew up next door to each other and we used to go there as kids with our parents, we had a school trip there and we went there as teenagers and adults with our own kids. Not only that, but it is a beautiful place too. The ceremony will be held in their 18th Century barn. We are so excited. Again I will elaborate at a later date.
Dan is also currently in the throws of starting work. He will be working from home as a Customer Service Operator. I haven't seen him excited about something like this for a long time. Plus, the extra money coming in will be great seeing as we have a Wedding to pay for!!!!
Everyone seems to have settled in very well to the new living arrangements too. The fact that the kids get on so well is a bonus too. Don't get me wrong, they have their moments, but all in all they are brilliant kids. Dominic and Molly changed from their schools on Canvey to schools in Basildon, and both love them and doing really well. Also, all the kids have recently started Scouts. Tamsyn goes to Beaver Scouts, Molly to Cub Scouts and Dominic and Jaysen to Scouts. Last week was their first week and all already have camps or sleepovers to go to. Tamsyn's is the sleepover. Molly was also chosen as one of 7 best behaved Cubs on the night (Or she used her Demonic powers over her Akala), to take part in an Archery Competition on Saturday the 1st October. So already, we they are being kept busy.
A little sad news too, our Arwen got run over out the front of the house. It was one Sunday evening about quarter to ten that we got a knock on the door. Dan answered and I heard the lady asking if we had a little black and white cat, as soon as I heard that I knew exactly what had happened and promptly burst into tears. Dan went out to collect her and he buried her that night in the back garden. Hearing Dan dig a hole in the garden at half ten/eleven at night understandably drew the interesting of Sheila next door. A little voice called over the fence "Dan, is everything ok?" I think she was more concerned that the hole was for me.....
It is truly amazing how much a cat can become part of your family, and how upsetting it is when they go. I kept trying to tell myself....It's just a cat. But she was my cat and I loved her. I still miss her, little things like her looking through the banisters at night time and greeting me in the morning in the toilet!!!! Dan , bless him, decided I needed something to distract me from thinking of Arwen, so he got me two adorable little kittens. After much deliberation we named them Galadriel and Gimli, in keeping with the Lord of the Rings theme we are currently using to name our pets....


Galadriel & Gimli

Galadriel and Gimli are from two different litters, we originally were told that Gimli (the little black one) was a boy and Gladriel was a girl. We toyed with the idea of letting them have kittens but were not completely sure, and its a lot of hard work. but, the decision was made for us, turns out they are both girls...!! Gimli is also half Rag Doll, and yes, he does go floppy when you pick him up. He is also, we are sure, a few sandwiches short of a picnic!!
Last but not least, I have finally started my card making. Not many at the moment, but slowly getting more requests. I have also started a new Blog in connection with the cards. It is really just somewhere to put pictures of them. Once it is all sorted I will stick a link on here so you can have a ~~laugh~~ look at them.
There is more to come with lots of pictures, especially of my gorgeous nephew Harry.

Baby Albert Dennis

By the way, Kerry and James had baby Albert Mervyn Dennis on 27 June at 1:33am. A bouncing 8IB 3oz (despite being told by the midwife that she was expecting the worlds biggest baby in the history of the world ever), healthy, gorgeous little boy. He is lush. Congratulations again to you all.

My Shop is gone.......

2011-02-19T14:44:00.000Z

Hello all.......

Well, lots has gone on and there will be, I promise, posts to come to update you all. They may not necessarily be in chronological order, but they will be updates.

As you all know in May of last year I found myself a little part time job. Shop Assistant at a new shop in Eastgate in Basildon called Gimme Gizmo. I loved it. Really loved it. It was a little independence for me, after years being a single mother it was something that was mine, something that didn't involve being a mum but being Kellie. It meant I had more money and if any of the kids needed anything I could get. Simple little things. I also got to meet new people. The people I worked with were mostly great. We did have issues with the assistant manager, but to cut a long story short, he got sacked and I was offered his job. I was so pleased, after not working for around 9 years, I had managed to get myself a job and a promotion. My manager Diane was great. Then things started happening. I am not going to type out exactly what, mainly because Dan already has and I am going to steal it from his blog...mwah ha ha. But things started going downhill. The job was still fantastic and I loved it, but the company was in a word..... run by monkeys. Ok, 3 words. Anyhow, in January the shop ended up closing. I had a phone call from one of our area managers and told that the shop would be closing, not in a weeks time, not in a couple of days time, not even tomorrow. In TEN MINUTES....yes you read right, ten minutes. I was gutted, they took my shop away. We have had trouble after trouble and lie after lie from them, so Dan blogged it, and wow did we have an unexpected response. Lots ex and current Gimme Gizmo staff from all over the country having or had exactly the same troubles as we had in Basildon.

I am going to put the links here to Dans blog post. That will also make it easier for people who need information about Gimme Gizmo to find it too.

http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2010/11/stress-kellie.html

http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2011/01/bunch-of.html

http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2011/02/gimme-gizmo-asshats.html

http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2011/02/it-keeps-happening.html

http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2011/02/hunt-is-on.html

http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2011/02/bloody-finally.html

http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2011/02/new-week.html

http://www.0ddness.co.uk/2011/02/lies-and-damn-lies.

Be sure to read the comments section too....

Here we have the "official" Gimme Gizmo head office address:

Gimme Gizmo
77 Hockley Street
Hockley
Birmingham
B19 3DH

And here's their phone number:

0121 5548868

For all those of you that need to contact them.

Alive and Kicking....

2010-09-30T20:32:00.000+01:00

As the title may suggest, I am still around. Just ~~a little~~, ~~quite~~, ~~very~~, EXTREMELY busy. I have not stopped over the past couple of weeks and so so much has happened. Ypu will get to hear about it, just as soon as I manage to keep my eyes open long enough in the evening or sit down for long enough during the day to write it all down. So watch this space peoples.

xxxx

Worrying

2010-09-09T21:30:00.000+01:00

I have a slight concern. I have recently experienced two incidents that have me questioning the standard of education our youngsters are receiving. You know, the future generation. The ones that are going to solve famine, poverty and global warming. The ones that will find a cure for our fatal illnesses and slow down the ageing process. Or maybe I just have too high an expectation of them.

You see, whilst at work the other day, we had a group of college students stroll in. All smartly dressed, clean (yes clean students) and bright eyed. Wonderful thought I, I wonder what miracle cure they are working on whilst in their labs at college. At least that was until I overheard the conversation a couple of them were having. It went as follows:

Boy: " I love these pin art things, they are really cool. My younger brother has one"
Girl: "Whats this" (Pointing at the Telescopic forks.)
Boy: "A telescopic fork, I wonder what its for"
Girl: "You look through it and see stuff closer up!"
Yes, yes that's exactly what you do with it. May I just request that we all use energy bulbs from now on and help towards the solving of global warming.

The above happened one day last week, and it was only a conversation with Dominic this evening that brought it back to mind. I was flicking through the BBC News website when this image popped up:

"I cant stand him" Says Dom, pointing at the picture. "Can you not?" I asked intrigued, "Who is it Dom?". His reply, "George Bush". He hee. Maybe I shouldn't laugh. Though I am not sure what was the worst, the fact he thought it was George Bush, or the fact that upon informing him of who it actually was, he piped up with "Oh yeah, he was Prime Minister when Princess Diana died". Not when he invaded Iraq or Afghanistan, not for his role in the Northern Ireland peace talks and not for being George Bush's lapdog. No, he knew him for being the Prime Minister when Diana died. Bless him.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not the smartest person alive. In fact, and Dan can confirm this, I can be extremely blonde at times, so maybe I should just accept that other people have their blonde moments too.

Tagged: Weapon

2010-09-09T20:41:00.000+01:00

The object to my left is currently Dominic. Hmmmm, not sure as to exactly how much use he would be in a Zombie apocalypse. I could throw him at them and hope they eat him slowly enough to give me time to make a run for it I suppose..... ;)

Tagged; Me In Pics

2010-09-09T13:37:00.000+01:00

The Rules:
Type your answer into Google Images, and put the first image into the meme.

1. What is your first name?

(Kellie Castleman)

2. What is your favourite food?

(Indian)

3. What high school/University did you go to?

(Furtherwick Park School)

4. What is your favourite colour?

(Black)*

5. Who is your celebrity crush?

(Matt mmmm Smith)

6. What is your favourite drink?

(Jack Daniels and Coke)

7. What is your dream vacation?

(New Zealand)

8. What is your favourite dessert?

(Lemon Meringue Pie)

9. What do you want to be when you grow up?

(Doctor Whos Assistant)

10. What do you love most in life?

(My Family)

11. What is one word that describes you?

(Short)

12. What is your blog name?


(You really need a caption for this one?)

*I am not sure why this image came up when I typed in black....different though I suppose.

Tagged: The Umbrella Test

2010-09-09T12:55:00.001+01:00

The Umbrella Test

1. Imagine you wake up and look outside. It's raining like crazy, and you're going to need to take your umbrella. In this day dream, what color umbrella do you take with you?
* Red
* Black
* Orange
* Yellow
* Green
* Blue
* Purple
* Pink
* Brown

Your Black Umbrella Says You're Powerful

Your Black Umbrella Says You're Powerful
When faced with adversity, you respond with authority. You don't let problems faze you.
You are naturally powerful and commanding. People look to you to take charge.

You are elegant and classy. You know how to always say and do the right thing.
While you stand out, you also fit it. You thrive in a variety of situations.

On a rainy day: you carry on as normal - a little bad weather isn't going to get in your way!

He hee, yeah right. I just like Black!!!!

Tagged: Chinese Animal

2010-09-09T12:42:00.002+01:00

Short tempered and avengeful...pah...I will get you for that!!

Kids...!!!

2010-09-04T19:11:00.000+01:00

Every so often one of the kids will do something that really touches me. Sometimes I find notes or pictures telling me how much they love me or they will make an off the cuff comment about how they have had a good life so far or how lucky they are. These things always make me smile and sometimes even bring a tear to my eye, and I don't just mean Dominic and Molly, Jaysen and Tamsyn are culprits too.

I recently discovered that my eldest, Dominic is an avid fan of my blog - well, he reads it - and having checked my emails today I found he had left a comment on one of my tagged posts. Well when I say he left a comment, what I actually mean is he copy and pasted the whole tagged and proceeded to answer the questions. The answers to which are one of those things that touches me. I have copied it below and highlighted the ones which either brought a tear to my eye or I thought were sweet in blue and the ones that made me chuckle in pink. Some of the answers have also been quite revealing too, as you know I haven't been in the best of health lately and it is obviously playing on his mind bless him. I often forget how grown up he really is, so don't link him and answering questions like this together. But it did remind me of how proud I am of him, how much I love him and how much of a well adjusted, sensitive and special little man he is after all he has gone through in the past years.....(and I know you will be reading this, so just for you, Mummy loves you very much darling and I am so proud of you....even though you can be a plank at times ;0)

1 comments:

Dominic said...

Ten hows:
1. How did you get one of your scars?
falling on glass. (Like I said....plank)

2. How did you celebrate your last birthday?
sleepover.

3. How are you feeling at this moment?
quizzed.

4. How did your night go last night?
good.

5. How did you do in Secondary School?
still there

6. How did you get the shirt you’re wearing?
someone gave it to me.

7. How often do you see your best friend(s)?
5 times a week.

8. How much money did you spend last month?
about £10.

9. How old do you want to be when you get married?
about twenty.

10. How old will you be at your next birthday?
13

Nine whats:
1. Your mothers name?
Kellie castleman

2. What did you do last weekend?
played ps3. probably

3. What is the most important part of your life?
family.

4. What would you rather be doing?
trying to get my friend to shut up about me being a chav.

5. What did you last cry over?
dunno.

6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?
humor.

7. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other?
no idea.

8. What are you worried about?
my mum with her box and her health

9. What did you have for breakfast?
rusks. yum yum.

Eight yous:
1. Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend?
i hope so.

2. Have you ever had your heartbroken?
yeah.

3. Have you ever been out of the country?
loads.

4. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
this is me your talking about yeah.

5. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?
nope. few.

6. Have you ever had sex on the beach?
no I'm twelve.

7. Have you ever dated someone younger than you?
all my life. so far.

8. Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
no.

Seven whos:
1. Who was the last person you saw?
jaysen.

2. Who was the last person you texted?
mum to ask her where she was in asda..

3. Who was the last person you hung out with?
i hung on my top bunk does that count.

4. Who was the last person to call you?
mum.

5. Who did you last hug?
dunno.

6. Who is the last person who texted you?
mum to tell me where she was in asda

7. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?
mum.

Six wheres:
1. Where does your best friend(s) live?
Canvey Island.

2. Where did you last go?
to callums last night.

3.where did you last hang out?
at callums innit.

4. Where do you go to school?
northwick park and Cornelius.

5. Where is your favorite place to be?
my uncles.

6. Where did you sleep last night?
my house.

Five dos:
1. Do you think anyone likes you?
well they fooled me if they don't.

2. Do you ever wish you were someone else?
sometimes.

3. Do you know the muffin man?
yes, he works in his muffin shop.

4. Does the future scare you?
when it includes my mum with her heart "problem"

5. Do your parents know about your blog?
no blog for me.

Four whys:
1. Why are you working where you work?
well I've gotta go to school

2. Why did you get into Blogging?
i said NO BLOG FOR ME

3. Why did your parents give you the name you have?
because the other name is probably not aloud.

4. Why are you doing this survey?
Because It looked good

Three ifs:
1. If you could have one super power what would it be?
regeneration.

2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?
probably. tomtom/radio transmitter

Two would-you-evers:
1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you?
already done. after loads of bugging. they asked me.

2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?
yes. I'm a boy so it wouldn't matter

One last question:
1. Are you happy with your life right now?
Yes.

Don't Be A Stranger

2010-09-04T18:03:00.000+01:00

Having had a quick look at my stats page I notice that people are actually viewing, if not reading my blog now. A most pleasant surprise I must admit. Please say hello if you have a moment, or leave a comment. Would love to hear from you and get some feedback. I'm just properly starting out and still learning, so any feedback would be much appreciated. Plus, feel free to leave me a link to your own blog should you be a blogger.

Thank you so much.

Much Love,

Kellie. xx

Judgement Day........kinda!

2010-09-02T09:36:00.000+01:00

Okay, so judgement day may be a slight over-exaggeration, but I am a little worried. On Friday morning I received the call I had been waiting for from the hospital. "Can you come in on Thursday at 3.05pm. The consultant has ordered you an R-test halter monitor. Your consultant is Dr Kelly". Of course I got so excited over the fact that my consultants name was Dr Kelly I forgot to ask what hospital I had to go to. Which in turn got me the 'sometimes I wonder about you' look from Dan. Anyway, after Dan very kindly offering to make a phone call for me on Tuesday, it turns out its Southend Hospital.

I got in to bed last night and I am not sure if it was the worry or I was just having a turn, I had felt funny all day, but my heart was going like there was no tomorrow, I couldn't get to sleep, I was getting pains in my chest and my left arm felt........odd! Not major pains but it was uncomfortable. After taking around an hour to convince myself I wasn't having a heart attack - not that I would know if was - I finally drifted off to sleep. I ~~woke up~~ was woken up this morning at around quarter to six by an excited Molly wanting to know if it was time to go to school yet. To which my reply was "its quarter to bloody six, you can go if you want but its going to be a long wait outside the gate, go back to bed for a bit". So she disappeared off only to re-emerge at 6.45 fully dressed and ready to go. Time to get up then. Getting the kids ready this morning has been a good distraction, but now they have gone I am starting to get nervous again. I know today is just to fit the monitor, but its the start of finding out if there is something wrong or if I just have an extremely over-active imagination. In one way I really hope this monitor shows something up, I have always been a firm believer that when you know what it is your facing its easier to deal with. On the other hand, if it doesn't, it means its not my heart. which will be a bonus. However, it will mean starting again with a diagnoses. Either way, I guess I am just glad SOMETHING is being done.

For now, I am just going to spend the morning trying to keep my mind occupied.

Tagged: Countdown From Ten

2010-08-27T20:57:00.000+01:00

Nabbed originally from Miss Posh and then from Oddness

Ten hows:
1. How did you get one of your scars?
From having my appendix out.

2. How did you celebrate your last birthday?
On my actual birthday day, I was spoiled by the kids and then in the evening Dan took me to the cinema and out for a meal. The day after I was taken to the casino in Southend - in a LIMO no less - for ladies lunch and then for some heavy gambling.

3. How are you feeling at this moment?
Bit tired and bunged up.

4. How did your night go last night?
It was good. Got in from work at around 6.15. Fed kids and put them to bed. Watched a VERY funny film called Zombieland.

5. How did you do in Secondary School?
I loved secondary school. Mainly because it was better than being at home.

6. How did you get the shirt you’re wearing?
I bought it from a shop!!!!

7. How often do you see your best friend(s)?
I live with him.

8. How much money did you spend last month?
Oooooh, probably more than I should have done.

9. How old do you want to be when you get married?
Not so old that I don't remember it.....

10. How old will you be at your next birthday?
34.

Nine whats:
1. Your mothers name?
Diane Elizabeth Chaney.

2. What did you do last weekend?
Died.....several times over!!!!

3. What is the most important part of your life?
My kids, Dan and Family.

4. What would you rather be doing?
Right now, eating dinner.

5. What did you last cry over?
Feeling poorly last week.

6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?
A big cuddle, either from Dan or one of the kids.....or anyone really.

7. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other?
Someone with a good sense of humour, easy going, trustworthy.....oh and patience....he hee.

8. What are you worried about?
At the moment a little about my health.

9. What did you have for breakfast?
Nothing.

Eight yous:
1. Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend?
Yes I think so.

2. Have you ever had your heartbroken?
Yes, hasn't everyone.

3. Have you ever been out of the country?
Yes.

4. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
He hee. Maybe....!!!!

5. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?
Yes I have and its not something I would like to happen again.

6. Have you ever had sex on the beach?
Yes.

7. Have you ever dated someone younger than you?
Yes.

8. Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
Does that include one with just pictures...!!!

Seven whos:
1. Who was the last person you saw?
Dominic, he is sat next to me.

2. Who was the last person you texted?
Dominic, to tell him where I was in asda after he wandered off.

3. Who was the last person you hung out with?
I don't often hang out....but Dan does....!!!

4. Who was the last person to call you?
Dominic, in asda to find out where I had gone after he wandered off.

5. Who did you last hug?
Molly, a goodnight hug.

6. Who is the last person who texted you?
Dominic, to find out where I was in asda after he wandered off.

7. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?
One of my boyfriends, maybe even Dan.

Six wheres:
1. Where does your best friend(s) live?
Canvey Island.

2. Where did you last go?
I went to Basildon today to school shoe shop.

3. Where did you last hang out?
Basildon.....in da street corner innit....

4. Where do you go to school?
Merrylands Primary, Laindon High and Furtherwick Park.

5. Where is your favorite place to be?
Anywhere where the kids and Dan are.

6. Where did you sleep last night?
Squished up against Dan giving him all my body heat....apparently, so I have just been told.

Five dos:
1. Do you think anyone likes you?
No, I think they pretend to.

2. Do you ever wish you were someone else?
No, I quite like being me.

3. Do you know the muffin man?
Yes, he lives down Drury Lane.

4. Does the future scare you?
Does it have spiders??????

5. Do your parents know about your blog?
My Mum does, not sure about my Dad.

Four whys:
1. Why are you working where you work?
It is a toy and gadget shop!!!! Why else would I work there.

2. Why did you get into Blogging?
Peer pressure......

3. Why did your parents give you the name you have?
Because I don't think Bitch was considered appropriate.

4. Why are you doing this survey?
Because I saw it on Posh Tottys blog and it looked good.

Three ifs:
1. If you could have one super power what would it be?
Invisibility would be cool.

2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?
No I wouldn't. I have had some bad times, some good times and some excellent times, but they have all made me the person I am now and I am stronger and better for it.

3. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring 1 thing, what would you bring?
The How To Guide - Desert Island Special.

Two would-you-evers:
1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you?
I might...if they asked nicely....or touched my leg...!

2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?
If I thought it would save there life then yes I would.

1. Are you happy with your life right now?
Yes, very.

Every now and again

2010-08-25T22:05:00.000+01:00

Every now and again someone does something nice. I'm not talking your boyfriend walking in with a huge bunch of flowers, your girlfriend cooking you your favourite dinner or your mum offering to have the kids for a night. I mean someone you don't know, someone you have never met before. And it doesn't matter how big a thing or small, just for a while, your faith in humanity is restored.

I get so used, especially now working in a busy shopping centre, to people always in a hurry, no time to smile, no time to say excuse me, no time for please or thank you or manners, which is something I always remember being told as a child and as I tell my two now, cost neither time nor money. Everyone seems to be in such a rush these days with no time for anyone but themselves. So when someone goes out of there way to do you a good deed it makes it that bit more .......nice!!! Which in a way is kind of a sad fact I think, what kind of world is it now, that we particularly notice when someone does something nice for us, that it should stand out from all the bad in the world. Surely it should be the other way around.

Anyhow, after work today I headed off up the road to where my Mum works so I could grab a lift home. Now, when I left home this morning it was brilliant sunshine outside and rather warm, so I ~~opted not to~~ forgot to take my umbrella. Of course, because of this, when I left work it was raining. Fortunately getting to and on the bus was fine as I was undercover. Getting from the bus stop the other end and to my Mums place of work was an entirely different matter. However, the bus stop the other end is right by the local shops so I decided to pop in and see if anyone was selling any umbrellas. Now this may seem a little extreme for a four or five minute walk around the corner, but I spent an hour last night straightening my hair, I sure as hell was NOT going to get it wet.
First the chemists - no luck there. "Try next door, they might have some" the lady behind the counter suggested. "Oh, you mean Nisa, the FOOD convenience store. Okay I will". I smiled in the hope she hadn't picked up my sarcasm, she was only trying to help I know. I realised as I got to the door of the chemist that to go to my Mums I had to go right, but the shop she had suggested was left. Had I gone to Mums it would have looked like I had blatantly ignored her suggestion, or passed it off as insane. So I went left. Maybe they would have an umbrella. I had a look around and as I expected there were no umbrellas. Then when I realised I had a packet of crisps in my hand that I had bought earlier from Asda I had to think of a way to make it look less like I was just in the shop to thieve a packet of ready salted kettle chips. So I asked if they sold umbrellas. "No, sorry, no umbrellas" was the reply, followed by "Hang on there one minute". I had a horrible suspicion that he had gone to check the CCTV, to see if they had the exact moment caught on tape that I stole the packet of crisps. But alas, much to my relief, no. A few minutes later he emerged with a spare umbrella from out the back and he said I could borrow it to keep me dry. I know.....how nice a man is he. I thanked him profusely and also took a minute to just make sure he knew I had bought the crisps somewhere else and wasn't trying to steal them from under his nose, to which he laughed and said he knew - which makes me still wonder if he had checked the CCTV - and then I left with an umbrella, a smile and most importantly, dry hair!!!!

So this is my little tale of how just a little nice thing, done by someone I didn't know, restored my faith in Human kind. Even if just for a little while. So next time you see someone struggling or in need of something, know that it means more to them than you know to just stop and be as helpful as you can be. I bet it makes you feel good too.

Awww, spoiled little me......

2010-08-25T20:43:00.000+01:00

As I am sure you are all well aware now, I have been a poorly bunny. What with my chest and heart having its own little thing going on and then Sunday developing a sore throat and Monday night a temperature that caused there to be an unknown figure standing in the corner of my room and peculiar dreams of a plane crash.
Well, as well as looking after me Dan took himself off up the road on Tuesday after telling me had to 'pop' out and about an hour later he returned, bringing with him the most gorgeous bunch of white Roses, a really soft and cuddly teddy......which, if you can excuse the dark humour I am considering calling Tachy...... and a very pretty top.

My roses and teddy bear.

So thank you again baby for looking after me, running round after me, worrying about me, well for everything you do, and for my gorgeous flowers, teddy and top. I am not sure what I did to deserve someone like you. Love you lots. xxxxxx

Stolen from Posh Totty.....

2010-08-22T20:56:00.000+01:00

1. Are you happier now than you were five months ago?
Yes I am.

2. Have you ever slept in the same bed with anyone that you shouldn't have?
Yes, but don't tell anyone.....

3. Can you sleep in total darkness?
I prefer the darkness unless I have a bad dream, then I need a light.

4. Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for, the one who got away, what do you say?
"Hey Baby"........... My one that got away, came back...... :)

5. What do you think about the weather this summer?
Could have been better after the terrible winter we had.

6. How many people do you trust with everything?
Two.

7. What was the last thing you drank?
Glass of water.

8. Is there anyone you want to come see you?
Yes.

9. Name one thing you love about winter?
Curling up in front of the open fire.

10. Have you ever dated a Goth?
No.

11. What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
Popping over to see my Grandad.

12. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having?
I have a sore throat.

13. What's the longest that you have committed to one person and one person only?
5 years. But I was the only committed one in the relationship!!!!

14. What’s the first thing you did when you opened your eyes today?
Rolled over for a big cuddle with my Dan.

15. Has anyone ever told you they never want to ever lose you?
Yes.

16. Is there anybody that you wish you could fix your relationship with?
No.

17. Could you go out in public, looking like you do now?
Not unless I wanted to be arrested.

18. Do you think things will change in the next 3 months?
I am hoping a couple of things will change.

19. Do you believe that you never know what you got until you lose it?
Oh yes....never a truer word said.

20. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
Yes.

Tagged from 0ddness

2010-08-19T23:13:00.000+01:00

1. The phone rings; who will it to be?
At the moment my Mum, checking I am okay.

2. When shopping at the supermarket, do you return your trolly?
Yes always.

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
Normally a listener if I don't know the people well, a talker if I know them really well. Unless I have had a drink, then you can't shut me up :)

4. Do you take compliments well?
Not overly. I get embarrassed.

5. Do you play Sudoku?
I try, then I make Dan do it.

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
I would like to think so. As long as I could have imaginery friends.

7. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
Yes with the Guides.

8. What was your favorite game as a kid?
Oh thats hard, either hide and seek or 50/50.

9. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you?
No not now. I got my sexy pants Dan already.

10. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
Possibly. As long I wasn't expected to eventually believe the same.

11. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
Either really. If I want something I will pursue, but very subtly.

12. Use three words to describe yourself?
Short, stubborn, friendly.

13. Do any songs make you cry?
Oh yes.

14. Are you continuing your education?
Not just now. Maybe in the future.

15. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
Never tried, hope I never have to.

16. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
Yes, passport pics and pics just for fun.

17. How often do you read books?
Not very often. I really should read more.

18. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
At the moment the future.

19. What is your favorite children’s book?
The Very Hungry Caterpiller, when very young and then the Mary Anne series by Catherine Cookson.

20.What color are your eyes?
Blue in general, but they can change colour depending on my mood.

21. How tall are you?
Five feet, two inches.

22. Where is your dream house located?
In the middle of nowhere, surrounded by trees and plants and flowers and wildlife.

23. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?
Dan and the kids.

24. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
I have never been.

25. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
I didn't leave the house today.

26. Do you like mustard?
Yep. English Mustard.

27. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
Eat.......no sleep........no eat........I don't know, they are both kinda important.

28. Do you look like your mom or dad?
I look more like my Nanna.

29. How long does it take you in the shower?
At least 20 mins.

30. Can you do the splits?
He hee, not any more.

31. What movie do you want to see right now?
Marmaduke.

32. What did you do for New Year’s?
Had a fancy dress party.

33. Do you think The Grudge was scary?
I haven't seen it.

34. Do you own a camera phone?
Yes.

35. Was your mom a cheerleader?
Not to my knowledge.

36. What’s the last letter of your middle name?
H

37. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
Around 7 hours.

38. Do you like Care Bears?
A little as a kid.

39. What do you buy at the movies?
Ticket, Drink and Popcorn.

40. Do you know how to play poker?
Kind of. I know how to play Texas Holdem, but normally forget what the hands are.

41. Do you wear your seat belt?
Yes always.

42. What do you wear to sleep?
Nothing when I am home, PJ's if away from home.

43. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
The Canvey Floods in 1953.......ish.

44. How many meals do you eat a day?
Depends, at most 3 sometimes 1.

45. Is your tongue pierced?
No, I really want it done but the pain factor is holding me back.

46. Do you always read MySpace bulletins?
Nope.

47. Do you like funny or serious people better?
Funny. One of the best gifts in life is a sense of humour.

48. Ever been to L.A.?
No.

49. Did you eat a cookie today?
Nope.

50. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
No, just English.

51. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
No comment.

52. Do you hate chocolate?
No, I love chocolate.

53. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
I don't really fight with them anymore.

54. Are you a gullible person?
Errrm, I can be sometimes.

55. Do you need a girlfriend/boyfriend to be happy?
No, I had to learn to be happy alone before I could truly be happy with someone.

56. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what what would it be?
I would love to be a foster parent.

57. Are you easy to get along with?
I hope so.

58. What is your favorite time of day?
Evening.

Under The Weather

2010-08-19T21:05:00.001+01:00

As you may have suspected, a couple of weeks ago I went ~~up, down,~~ across to Devon to spend a week with my Brother, Sister-in-Law and new baby nephew Harry. The kids and I had a fantastic time, but since getting back I haven't felt quite right.

I have been feeling tired and almost like I had something hanging around that wasn't willing to make itself fully introduced. Until last Thursday that is. I should add that for around three or four months now I have been randomly feeling something in my chest that feels like butterflies fluttering their wings. I have been since informed that these are called palpitations.
But they have been just that, just fluttering that would last for maybe 30 seconds and then they are gone. However, Thursday was different. I had been stood at the far end of the shop pricing up straws, of all things, when I felt the fluttering start, again it lasted for 30 seconds, ish, but instead of that being that, I suddenly came over very faint, my heart was racing, I felt tingling, kind of like pins and needles, in my lips, up both arms and a little in my legs. Noticing I had suddenly gone quite my Boss Diane came over to see if I was okay. I told her what had just happened and she sent me to sit for a while. So off I trundled up to the office where I called Dan. "Hey Baby, you know the fluttering I have been having in my chest, well it just got worse I think...". He suggested I either come home and see the Doctor or he would come meet me and we should go up the hospital. Of course the immediate knee jerk reaction for me when anyone mentions seeing the Doctor or a hospital trip is a very firm "NO". I figured I would be okay, just sit and ~~bury my~~ ~~head in the sand~~ rest for a while and it would all go away. This was around 3pm. I was working till 5.30 and rather than face the bus at the end of the day I rang Mum to see if I could grab a lift home. Fortunately one of her contacts had been cancelled so she could pick me up. So, feeling like I had just been hit by a juggernaut, I struggled on through the rest of my day feeling faint and tingly. Even though Diane did keep telling me I should go home.

Later that evening Dan and I were sat watching Mind ,Body and Kick Ass Moves when I started feeling strange again. My heart started racing (even though I was sat doing nothing except watching the DVD) and I was quite short of breath. We decided to give NHS helpline a call for some advice. Of course, upon hearing heart racing they decided that the best thing to do would be to send out paramedics. I was fascinated at the fact that only 4 minutes later there was a paramedic at my door, and if I hadn't already been feeling like an utter pain in the arse and time waster before, I sure as hell did now. Of course, she assured me that I wasn't and with that covered me in stickers. Not your average 'I've been good at the dentist' stickers, oh no. She then proceeded to connect wires to the stickers. Apparently this is called an ECG. When she first connected me my heart rate was just over 90 beats a minute. Which in an otherwise healthy human being is apparently a bit high. Especially considering all I had been doing was sat on my bottom watching a DVD. I don't really have a clue as to what it should be or what the figures mean, except she said for my age I should really have a resting rate of around 60 or 70. Slowly my heart rate came down to around 86. My blood pressure was okay as were my blood sugar levels, a respectable 7.7....again I don't have the foggiest idea what that number means, but if she says its good then its good. She asked some questions as to what I had been doing today, how I had felt generally and if I had ever suffered from panic attacks. I told her I have had panic attacks in the past, but it was about 10 - 15 years ago, and that this felt completely different. I also had nothing going on in my life to cause me to feel anxious or to panic about. In fact life at the moment is really good. But, she took the panic attack thing and decided to run with it. I then had the option of being taken to the hospital in the ambulance that was already on its way or going to see my GP in the morning. Now don't get me wrong, I take my hat off to the ambulance service and the paramedics. I think they do an incredible job and don't get half the recognition they should, but riding in an ambulance just isn't for me. Not tonight at least. So I declined the kind offer and told her I would go see my GP in the morning.

During the night I was really restless and Dan said that even in my sleep he could feel my heart racing and hammering through my back. My alarm went off for work at around 7am, and as I rolled over to face Dan I could tell by the look on his face that I didn't look too well..... the "Jesus baby you look like shit" bit gave it away too. So, unbeknown to me he called my manager, explained what had happened the evening previously and told her I wouldn't be in to work today. He had also rung his sister, Gemma, and she was on her way to collect the kids and ourselves. She dropped Dan and I at the hospital and took the kids for us. I had another ECG and they took blood. Whilst sat in the waiting room I felt really restless, my chest felt strange and if the thought of a possible MRSA attack hadn't put me off, I would have curled up on the floor to try to sleep, at that moment in time, the floor looked incredibly comfortable and I was so tired. Eventually I was called through, taken into majors and waited for the doctor. He asked a few random questions and because Dan had mentioned the paramedic the night before suggesting panic attacks, he seemed to want to try to go down that route to. The blood test came back and confirmed that I hadn't had a heart attack, which was kind of obvious. But other than that he said that he could find no obvious reason for how I was feeling and what was going on and that I was to be referred to the Cardiology Department for a 24 Halter Monitor.....Oh and that I should rest. So for the rest of the weekend I took it easy. Dan ran round after me and wouldn't let me do a thing, bless him. Monday morning came around and I took myself off up the doctors to sort out the referral and for the first time felt I was actually being listened to properly. No mention of panic attacks or anxiety. He made a suggestion to as to what he felt it may be, but that is for the hospital to confirm. I have to go tomorrow to have my blood tests, the results of which will be passed straight to the hospital. Its a little worrying, but I am just trying to take it as gently as I can so as not to aggravate the situation. My boss has been great, allowing me light duties at work. Dan has as usual been fantastic. I know that he is really worried and that for him it is a subject that is closer to his heart and a little more sensitive for him to deal with, and it just makes me love him more. As for me, I just want to know what it is. I get so frustrated when I don't know what I am dealing with. I told Dan that I want it to either go away or if there is something wrong then do something so the doctors can pick up on it and diagnose what it is. Patience was never my strong point. But hopefully my appointment will come through soon and if it is what the doctor says then it can be fixed easily. If not, well at least I know what the problem is and that is always half the battle won.

Ooooooh....New Do!!!

2010-08-19T17:00:00.015+01:00

Many many moons ago when I was young, I had lovely blonde hair. It was thick and an absolutely lovely colour. Over time it developed a natural highlighted effect from years of travelling to the south of France and the sun bleaching it naturally. But, as is always the way, I didn't appreciate what I had when I had it.
Around the age of 18 I decided that I didn't like my hair blonde anymore, and I dyed it black...... yes BLACK, and that's practically how it has stayed ever since. But over recent months I have been considering going back to a lighter colour.
As you know I have recently started working in Basildon in the Eastgate Center, and as luck or chance would have it we had a rep from Rush Salon pop into the shop and offer us a once in a lifetime opportunity. Basically, and to make thing less complicated, we were offered around £240 worth of salon treatment, cutting, styling, colouring, highlights etc etc for £39.99. Well that's not an offer a girl can easily say no to........so I didn't.

I had 3 sessions to book. They consisted of a basic treatment, blow drying and styling, a professional cut, styling, treatment and blow dry and a full head of colour or highlights and blow dry. I could have extra discounted services with any of these 3 sessions too.

I decided for my first session to go with the professional cut, styling and blow dry. So off I trotted, dragging Dan along, to have my hair done.


The results of my first visit

As I mentioned, I had also been thinking about changing my hair colour back to its original blonde, well, at least lighter than it was. So, after discussing what was going to happen with the stylist I booked my next appointment there and then. They were going to have to strip the current colour out of my hair, see how light they could get it then put on a corresponding colour and then add highlights. When my appointment day came around, off I trotted, again dragging Dan along but this time kicking and screaming behind me.....Bless. Though I later felt he my have had a point with the kicking and screaming. It took four and a half hours to do my hair. Had I known it would have taken that long, I may very well have had to be dragged kicking and screaming too. But after seeing the results I was impressed. Really very totally like WOW impressed.


Just arrived and rearing to go


After the colour had been stripped (twice!)

Highlights going in

Highlights in and colour on


The end result

The lady in the last photo with the mirror in her hand is the one that had to do my hair. I felt so sorry for her in the end and I think at one point, after the first stripper they used didn't do much, she was getting a bit worried about it. But she did an amazing job and I love it. I am going to keep having more highlights put in to make it lighter too.

Love The Way You Lie......

2010-08-06T21:24:00.001+01:00

Posting this song for no other reason than I love it, actually that's a tiny lie. It stirs some uncomfortable memories and yet also gives me a great sense of achievement. Unless you have been in a violent or destructive relationship I don't think you can truly feel the emotion in these lyrics, and until today I had not seen the video. Very powerful. So here is to those of us that have been there and had the courage and sense to get the hell out.

Widdecombe.... and more pics.

2010-07-31T23:34:00.000+01:00

Today we had a lovely afternoon in Widdecombe. We went for lunch at the Old Inn and it was yummy. We then went across the road to the park and on to have proper Devon Ice Cream....mmmmm yum yum.

Kat and Molly.

Molly, Dom and Baby Harry.

Kat, Harry, James, Dom and Molly

Awww bless.

Smiley...

Dom on the monkey bars..........

Dom not on the monkey bars.....

Molly on the monkey bars....and she stayed on....

Dom and James


Widdecombe Church.

And the video above is Harry's very first time on a slide....xxxx

The riding of the animal from Hell......

2010-07-31T21:38:00.001+01:00

Mention the word Horse to me and this is pretty close to the image that it conjures up in my mind........ So imagine my horror when Molly decided that she really likes horses and wants to go ride one.
For months I have been trying to put off what I guess was only going to be the inevitable... She wasn't going to give up the idea until she got to go riding.

I am not entirely sure where my ~~irrational fear~~ terror of horses comes from. My more memorable experiences with horses, when I was younger, include holidaying in France and feeding horses through the fence, a fence I later realised was electrified as I put my hand through with a piece of apple, shocking not only myself but also the horse which then bolted after giving me the evil eye. I also recall being taken a few years in a row to the New Forest by Dad. He would take my Brother and I camping for a week or so, which in itself would not have been a problem had it not been full of Horses....wild ones at that. One afternoon my brother and I decided to go for a walk. A walk in which we stumbled upon a stallion which then kept us a safe distance away from its fillies, yes we were up that tree while he stood below for a good hour or so, until some other hikers came and scooted him off. We were most grateful. Another incident whilst camping was a horse deciding it was going to move in with us......in the tent. My brother and I both flew into a bedroom compartment and fortunately I choose the one the far end of the tent that had a zippy opening so I could escape.... I flew out and ran as fast as my legs could carry me to the woman in the tent behind us.... "For the love of God help us, the horse is in my tent and its going to eat my brother....please help him" Okay so I had never heard of then, and to this day have never heard of a horse eating anybody....but you never know. They also used to wait outside the toilet block for me too, meaning I had to scream across the campsite for my Dad, who had to escort me back to the tent just in case the horse turned rabid and trampled me to death....yes I admit as a child I had an over active imagination, but these were real fears.

But I digress, I figured that as my ~~irrational fear~~ terror of horses hadn't rubbed off on Molly yet, the right thing to as a parent was to allow her to ride a horse, and what better place to do this than in Devon on the moors surrounded by beautiful scenery. Let her get it out of her system. Or so I thought. So on Friday morning Kat's Aunt Sandra took us up to the riding school. As I got out the car I could feel my heart start beating faster, Molly, bless her, took my hand and assured me there was nothing to be worried about. Sandra then confirmed this by telling me that all the horses are behind a chain and couldn't get to me. I pictured a great chain, four foot thick of reinforced steel.....what I saw was a little chain, like they use on garden fences....hmmmmm. Molly strolled up happily, eager to go, I filled out the form that I was sure was going to send my daughter to her death. They fitted her with a riding helmet and started to load people on to the horses. ow to do this they had to remove the chain. Okay breath, step further back, get between the cars, its all good............... That was until one of the horses started to head straight towards me.....now I know they say animals can smell fear, and I was never 100% convinced until this day, that horse looked at me and laughed. I looked at the floor and prayed. Then it was Molly's turn to mount her horse. She had a smallish brown filly called Rosie and I swear she mounted that horse like she was a professional that had been riding for years. That's when I started to see my plan falling apart. This wasn't going to get it out of her system, this was actually going to go way off in the other direction, she was hooked. As more and more horses came closer to me, people around me were reassuring me that I had nothing to fear and I was OK and Molly was perfectly safe, and just as I convinced them I was OK so Molly piped up, "he hee, my mums so scared she is crying". Yeah, thanks for that Molly.

Molly on her Horse.

After everyone was mounted and ready to go they trotted off. Molly's horse was led all the way as she is an absolute beginner, but she looked so confident up there I am sure she could have managed it herself. She went off for an hour around the Moors and was then delivered back to James and Kat's absolutely full of it. She loved it.

My worst nightmare....and then some.

More Pics from the Land of Devon.......

2010-07-30T22:52:00.000+01:00

BADGERS HOLT ......... DARTMOOR

Uncle James, Auntie Kat, Dom and Molly.

Dom with frozen nads....

The water was freezing.....

Cutie x

Me, Dom and Molly.

Awwww

Such a poser....

Baby Harry.

Here fishy fishy....

How Time Flies........

2010-07-29T23:24:00.004+01:00

Nearly two years and loads has happened. More than is possible to put into one post. So I figured the best thing to is to break it down a little. Start with the most major things.......

My baby brother got married.
I am now a working girl.
I am now an AUNTIE......
Various and random medical stuff.

I know five things seem a little slow for two years but these are the most important and relevant things for me. Obviously lots more has happened and I am sure they will pop back into my memory banks as we go along, and I shall end up going off at a tangent, but for now its as above.

My Dominic started secondary school.

Yes in September last year my baby boy started secondary school. I had been dreading it more than he had. He is my baby after all....okay not quite my baby I do have a younger girlie.... but that's irrelevant right now. The holidays flew by and before I knew it that dreaded morning had arrived. I knew I had to send him out into the big wide world (well to school), with all the bigger kids and the bullies and the strict teachers. And when he had all his uniform on it bought a tear to my eyes...... even his sister was proud of him........
And one school year on he is flourishing. He got a grand set of 5's in his Sat's which meant he started in top set for most of his subjects. He received an absolutely stunning end of year report, and he scooped up the Best Student Award in his form. I really couldn't be prouder of my Dominic. Well done darling, Mummy loves you...xxxx

My baby brother got married.

Awwwww, in September last year my brother James married his lovely fiancee Kat.

They had a nice quite affair, just the 2 of them and a couple of friends as witnesses, but it was what they wanted and they loved it. They then had a weeks honeymoon down in London where we met up with them for the day and went to the London Aquarium. It was a lovely day. I made them a congratulations cake with my own fair hands and we took up a bottle of champagne and plastic champagne glasses, though I am not entirely sure that cracking open a bottle of champagne and serving it up (to minors too) is legal, but ho hum, my brother got married, try stopping me.

Their cake.......

The crew......

Congratulations to you both. You make such a beautiful couple and I love you both lots and am very proud of you.

I am now a 'Working Girl'.

No no no........not that type of working girl.... I had been hunting for a job for a while. I had applied to a quite a few different places and either had no reply whatsoever....you know who you are.... or was told I wasn't quite what they were looking for....after just reading a CV they knew this..... Then one Thursday whilst in Basildon shopping I noticed a sign on the front of a shop shutter.    Full and Part time sales assistants wanted for new shop.
                                                                 Please address C.V to The Manager, Gimme Gizmo.

Okay, thought I, I will. So I rushed home, printed off my C.V and a covering letter, got my Mum to pick it up from me the next morning, Friday, and she dropped it off to Dan so he could drop it into the shop at 9am for me. After all the previous let downs I didn't expect to hear anything. However, on Sunday we took the kids over to the new Canvey Marsh park for a picnic. It was there that I received the phone call. They had received and read my C.V, could I go along at 2pm tomorrow for an interview. I didn't hesitate.....yes of course I can, see you tomorrow. It wasn't until I had put the phone down that it set in....I had just agreed to an interview, I hadn't had an interview for over ten, yes TEN, years. SHIT!!!!!!!!
What do I wear?
What do I say?
What if they ask this?
What if they ask that?
What if I get so nervous I puke on his feet? (This was always going to be a possibility!!)

What have I done?

Of course, having seen the colour drain immediately from my face, Dan was starting to get concerned. Whats wrong? He asked.      I got an interview....oh my God I have an interview. He was so pleased with me.

The next day arrived, as it generally does, and I was up dressed and feeling sick already. All Dan got that day was "What if they ask this, what if they ask that, should I say this, should I say that, should I not say this or that, what if what if what if."   Just be yourself he said, and failing that flash your tits..... Mmmmm, that helps. The bus journey over was pretty quite, I don't say much when I get really nervous or have something on my mind, and after the millionth wee of the day, I may not say much, but I do piss for England, I walked into the shop. The next 20 - 25 mins

......................more coming soon...........x

I am an Auntie.

I have been desperate to become an auntie for ages. I was always on at James......when when when when. Well he and his wife Kat had started trying for a baby about one and a half, two years ago, sadly with no joy. They started getting worried....maybe something was wrong, maybe Kat couldn't, maybe James was a jaffa and worst still, maybe I wasn't going to be an auntie... :).
They decided in the lead up to the wedding that maybe they should give it a break and concentrate on arranging the big day. So this is what they did. As mentioned before, we met them up in London for the day whilst they were on honeymoon and Kat at the time was complaining of not feeling too good, bit sickly and faint........... Low and behold, a couple of weeks later we get the phone call, I, at long last, was going to be an auntie.......WOO HOO....

This is the first glimpse I got of my nephew........


Isn't he just gorgeous... x

After what seemed like a lifetime, I am sure it was longer than 9 months, the day finally came for Kat to be taken in to be induced, baby was running a little late. She had quite a rough time of it and in the end they decided to give her a cesarean. At 7.00pm on the 30 June 2010 little baby Harry came into the world, weighing 7ib 1oz.

Couple of hours after birth.

Cute as a button

Happy Families....

Congratulations to you both, I know you will make fantastic parents.

Welcome to the world Baby Harry. You are such a handsome precious little man and I love you lots. xxxx

Devon - James and Kats - Few pics

2010-07-29T21:44:00.000+01:00

Just some random pics from our time so far in Devon........

Molly in the Aqua ball....

Dominic and Molly at Pixieland....

Updates "Soon"

2010-07-24T21:37:00.002+01:00

This is Dan here :)

Kellie will be updating her blog very soon. Now she has her very very geeky personal URL (www.kelliecastleman.co.uk) AND I've managed to get her Blogger account switched to her Gmail Account, she's ready to go.

However.

She is currently getting ready to go away for the week, down to her brother & sister in law in Devon. Very Nice. I HAVE set up her phone so she can post photos from there straight to her blog should she so decide, but still, content will arrive as and when!

-Dan

Doctor!

2010-07-24T21:10:00.001+01:00

Just setting up my mobile with Blogger :)

Sorry!!

2008-12-09T04:18:00.000Z

Good morning world....

It is currently 4.19am and I have been awake since around 2.30. I woke up to the sound of my eldest throwing up. Mmmmmm.
Fortunately, he has only been sick the once, admittedly vast quantities of once, but once all the same. And bless his heart the first words out of his mouth when he got back into bed where "I still want to go to school tomorrow". AND he made it to the toilet so luckily no early morning clean up on isle nine. Only thing is I havent been able to get back to sleep since. So I figured with nothing else to do........you know the rest....

I feel I have an apology to make, or maybe many apologies. Not just for the lack of blogging, i am sure one day I will get into the flow of it properly, but also for the weekend just gone. I was a bit of a cow. Well more quite a lot of a female dog. I haven't been very well, sore throat, aching all over, headache, tired and generally felt like pooh. Of course it being the weekend Dan was due over, and this weekend he had the kids too. By Friday evening I really felt rough so suggested he stay at home and come over Saturday lunch time. Which he did. I was snuggled on the settee dozing on and off, the kids where playing and Dan bless him, was getting more and more stressed out trying to keep them quiet. So I decided to take myself off upstairs. I know better than anyone that when you want to keep kids quiet....they get louder. Not that it bothered me....kids are kids....and I was sleeping regardless....actually come to think of it they were not even making that much noise. So upstairs I toddled, and proceeded to sleep. Not sure how long for but put it this way, when I went to sleep it was light and when I woke up it was dark. So quite some time, but maybe not long enough. I woke up in a not so good mood and still feeling like pants. Back downstairs I toddled to be greeted by Tamsyn with a big cuddle and lovely smile....awwww bless. Then into the kitchen where Dan was cooking spag bol for dinner. First strop coming up. I had got the mince out earlier ready for dinner and had planed to pop out to the shop to grab some mushrooms and peppers to put in the sauce. For some reason its just not bolougnese otherwise...well not to me... Of course Dan didn't know this so my first comment was "Aw thank you for doing dinner while I was upstairs in bed poorly and allowing me to have a rest. I am so grateful". Well you would have thought that's what my first comment should have been...but no...not me....that's too easy isn't it. Bearing in mind I was dosed up to the eyeballs, this is, from what I remember, how the conversation went......
"What you doing"     (Like it wasnt obvious what he was doing)
"I am making dinner, its ok darling you go sit down and rest"
"Aw thats so thoughtful of you thank you baby"    (Roughly translated that actually came out as "but there is nothing to put in the sauce, I was going to do it properly" because obviously how Dan was doing it wasnt properly????)
"There is plenty, I have some tomatoes. and garlic and a chilli, go and sit down and rest"
"Hhumphh"    (Which was a kind of "whatever")

First Lesson for me.... When I am poorly I am very ungrateful.
First Lesson for others.... When I am poorly dont cook spaghetti bolognese.

Well the evening went on, Dan sat on the settee and every now and again, very tentatively, asked if I was ok. I was sat opposite him on the arm chair. Still sulking like a child. "I'm fine".

Second Lesson for me.... When i am poorly I sulk and feel sorry for myself.
Second Lesson for others.... When I am poorly its probably best to ignore me.

Sunday morning came and I spent most of it again asleep. For which I would think Dan was probably glad. After all, whilst I am asleep, I cannot snap at him can I. Dan and the kids left at around 2pm Sunday afternoon. I am sure I found various things to moan at him about throughout the morning, and although he said he was going so that I could rest and sleep some more, I am sure he must have been relieved to go. He had planned to come back over Monday morning....glutten for punishment obviously. The rest of sunday went pretty quickly, and Sunday evening, just as he does every evening, he rang me. Still feeling like pants I told him not to worry about coming over Monday. I would have a quiet day and do nothing in the hope of feeling better by Monday evening. Towards the end of the call he told me that if I changed my mind then let him know and he would come over still. I told him I was fine. "I really don't mind coming......". "I KNOW YOU DONT"..........silence........ for what felt like 5 minutes..... untill a quiet voice came over the earpiece saying "Ok, I will go now, I love You, night night."

Third Lesson for me.... When I am poorly I am stroppy and snappy and a general B***h.
Third Lesson for others.... When I am poorly its probably best to stay as far away from me as possible.

So I am so so so so sorry darling for being such an ungrateful, sulky, stroppy, miserable cow this weekend. I do appreciate everything you did. Thank you for looking after me. I dont know why you put up with me, if I was you I would have left an hour after arriving. I love you lots and lots and I cannot wait to see you later today. I really am so sorry.

Monday morning when I spoke to Kerry and told her how much of a cow bag I had been all weekend, her response was, "He will learn, why do you think I havent rung you all weekend. I know what your like. When your poorly you just stay the F**k away."
Cheers Hunni!!

Lesson number four for me and probably the most important one.... Learn my lesson.

Busy Day.......

2008-07-09T20:34:00.003+01:00

Today I got to spend the day with my best friend Kerry. The whole day. We have decided that since both becoming 'Attached', wednesdays would be our day. What a wonderful day it has been.

We had planned to go shopping in Basildon today, but since Kerry had an appointment with her youngest sons teacher at 12.50 we decided to stay on Canvey. We went for breakfast, which since we both are not feeling overly hungry these days, not entirely sure why....... we ate about three quarters of... we then went to look round the shops. Having both bought ourselves new jeans and a few new tops we decided it was time for us to go see the teacher in question, only to find out that the appointment was not untill next week. For those that know us well, this would not come as a shock... not only was the appointment next friday..(today is Wednesday).. we knew that the appointment was for the 17th...(today is the 9th). So in true fashion for us both we decided that the only thing left for us to do was to go to the pub.... two pints later, and heading back to mine to pick up footie training gear... I decided to head on back to Kerrys after school.

We fed the kids, footie training was cancelled because of the weather and Kerry and I had a good chance for a heart to heart. Mainly about the men we have currently started dating, and though part of the conversation was on a topic that i'm not so sure I should discuss on here, we are both very happy.... seeing her with such a twinkle in her eyes and a glow in her cheeks makes me feel so happy.... she deserves all the happiness that comes her way, since her troubles started, she has held it together, like i don't think i could do, for her and the kids. I hope that she is proud of herself, because i know am so proud of her.

Home time came around very quickly.... though we have done a celebrity kid swap.... I have my daughter and her youngest daughter and son, and she has her eldest son and mine.... they are in bed and going to sleep.... well they are my end....lol..

So, in a nutshell that was my day. Great fun and lots of giggles.. we even got a new catchphrase out of it.... someones crossing..!!!!!!

By the way, I have just been upstairs to check on the children.... they are asleep.... wonder if Kerrys are????

Dreaming......

2008-07-08T09:14:00.000+01:00

Nightmare
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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For other uses, see Nightmare (disambiguation).
A nightmare is a dream which causes a strong unpleasant emotional response from the sleeper, typically fear or horror, being in situations of extreme danger, or the sensations of pain, falling, drowning or death. Such dreams can be related to physical causes such as a high fever, turned faced down on a pillow during sleep (most often in the case of drowning nightmares), or psychological ones such as psychological trauma or stress in the sleeper's life, or can have no apparent cause. If a person has experienced a psychologically traumatic situation in life—for example, a person who may have been captured and tortured—the experience may come back to haunt them in their nightmares. Sleepers may waken in a state of distress and be unable to get back to sleep for some time. Eating before bed, which triggers an increase in the body's metabolism and brain activity, is another potential stimulus for nightmares.[1]. Sleeping on the left side of the body could compress the chest cavity and restricts the movement of the heart, and has been known to cause nightmares.
Occasional nightmares are commonplace, but recurrent nightmares can interfere with sleep and may cause people to seek medical help. A recently proposed treatment consists of imagery rehearsal.[2] This approach appears to reduce the effects of nightmares and other symptoms in acute stress disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder.[3]

Whilst taking the children to school this morning, a few people commented on how tired I look. Knowing that I have recently gone from being 'single' to 'in a relationship' (with the most most wonderful man in the world I would like to add), the most common comment was "You should try sleeping when you go to bed"..chuckle chuckle... The thing is I do sleep. That's the problem at the moment. I sleep, therefore I dream... no I nightmare...

The cause of these nightmares.. I don't really need to go into in too much detail. Those people that know me well will know the exact cause. As wikipedia says... these nightmares can relate to a psychologically traumatic experience in life.... Well after my mother and father split up when I was around 8 years old, my mother met a new man. Well I say man.. but he wasn't one. I didn't really like him from the start, not many people did, he was arrogant, rude, sarcastic and had a general 'I'm right your wrong attitude'. But the real crap started on holiday in France just after we moved from my much loved Laindon home and my friends that where there. That's when the abuse started.. I wont go into too much detail as I know that it can be a difficult and uncomfortable thing to read about, but I feel hiding it and not talking about these things is why it is still so prevalent in today's world.

When I look back I realise that the 'Grooming' had started before we even moved away from Laindon. Then silly little things would make him 'disappointed in me' and the physical abuse started. But it wasn't until our first holiday in France that the worst abuse of them all reared its ugly head. The stuff I knew wasn't quite right, but didn't know it was completely wrong. I was 10 years old.

To cut a long story short.... well.... to cut out the bits I would rather not talk about, I finally built up the courage to leave home when I reached 17. A couple weeks later the truth came out. It was like someone had put all my family in one room and set of a hand grenade. Then along came the police for there statements and they took all my diary's. And all I could think at that time as I looked around at the devastation was... this is all my fault. Of course I know now that it wasn't.

So I now know it wasn't my fault, the family have moved on with there lives, I have moved on with my life, we are all stronger and better people for it and most importantly we all still have each other. I do still have these damn nightmares though. They get fewer and further apart which is always good but the pattern seems to be I have one, I know that over the next couple of nights I will dream again, and then they go. Something little triggers a tiny memory in my head and then they come. Saturday night I had the first. I was staying at Dans and the poor man in his attempt to comfort me got pushed rather forcefully away. He realised what I was dreaming about. Without me even having to say a word he knew.... which just made me love him more. Then Sunday night the same dream and last night too. So yes I am very tired, and I look it. But the dreams have been easier to deal with this time around. Before they used to get me down and make me mull over old memories. Ones that I would rather just leave locked in one of the many rooms in my head. But this time I'm stronger. This time I win and he loses.

I haven't done this alone though. Probably one of the biggest influences I have had in my life over the past few years and who has helped me, loved me and accepted me for exactly who I am and has never judged me is Kerry. My best friend. My strength. My Ally. Thank you babes. x.

Tonight I will sleep........ but I wont dream.

This is my first time..!!

2008-04-28T13:35:00.000+01:00

When I was a young girl I used to write a diary.... I dont know if it was to remember what was going on or just so that I had something to look back on to remind me that my life was real... When I was 17 I left home and I burnt every single one of them... that was supposed to be the end of that chapter of my life and I promised myself I would never again write in another. So by starting this blog Im not really breaking my promise to myself... just adapting it. So here it is... my first ever blog.

I have a dear friend who writes a blog. He just writes how he feels, doesnt think about it, just feels the page with his inner most thoughts, feelings, fears, joys and experiences. So it stands to reason that that would be his advice to me... just write what comes out. My advice to myself.... try and forget that others may be reading it!!

I feel somehow compelled to give a brief description of who I am.. so here goes.. My name is Kellie (Kelly on my birth certificate). I am 31 years old. I live on Canvey Island with my 2 children, Dominic who is 10 and Molly who is 6. I live in a terraced house, it has 3 bedrooms, a bathroom, toilet, kitchen, dinning room and front room. My front garden has pebbles and my back garden has a trampoline, toys and lots of stuff that needs to go to the tip. I only go into this detail as I wanted to use it as representation of my life. On the outside, at the front, everything appears normal, average. Its only as you get through this 'normalness', that you find all the crap out the back. Stuff that should have been thrown out years ago and will be soon.... but along the way I will accumulate more rubbish, be it blown into my garden by the wind or put there by my own doing. I still have the trampoline though.... a source of fun, joy, laughter and happiness. Overall my current life is a happy one.

I dont think I will burn this one..!!

So why did I start my blog? Well for one my best friend Kerry once said to me that I only say what needs to be said. This was in no way a criticism, and I completely agree with her. I dont go into detail about things. For example if were to have words with my mum for instance.... and I wanted to tell Kerry about it... I would say "I had words with my mum today".
That would be it, no explanation as to why, or how, just that simple sentence. If she wanted to know why or how, she would have to ask me. My fear is that she will one day stop asking, and so I need to learn to express myself. Obviously not just for Kerry but for me too. Though having said that, Kerry often knows what Im going to say before I have said it... how does she do that??
Secondly, there are often times that I have things whirling around in my head, and often very inconsiderately at stupid times of the morning. So maybe I can put them here... get them out in the open. And I will apologise in advance, as I know that some of the things will be highly unimportant and irrelavent once written down, but some will also be a great source of amusement.
Thirdly...... why not??

So here I am. My plan... I have no plan, I shall just type and see where it takes me.

Me

2005-07-24T21:48:00.001+01:00

Just a pic I need ;)